For you, To you.

You Don’t Know
98 Degrees

Who could know the emptiness inside
Every time I see your face
Too many feelings left behind
Do you wonder why
I turn away when you look at me
Never wanting your eyes to see
This desperate heart that knows
How perfect we could be

Baby cause you don’t know, how I feel
Livin’ my life without you
Baby and you don’t know what it’s like
Lovin’ you all this time
I’ll give you all my love, heart and soul
Riskin’ it all on a chance
Now when I need you the most, you don’t know

All I ever wanted in this world
Baby I found in you
I never felt this way before
But I can’t break through
And now I lie awake, alone at night
So afraid now to close my eyes
Just one more dream of you
I’ll carry here inside

Baby cause you don’t know, how I feel
Livin’ my life without you
Baby and you don’t know what it’s like
Lovin’ you all this time
I’ll give you all my love, heart and soul
Riskin’ it all on a chance
Now when I need you the most, you don’t know

And I would hold you all through the night
I would stay right by your side
And I’d give you the world if your love was mine
But baby could it be I’m only dreamin’
Don’t let it pass me by

Baby cause you don’t know, how I feel
Livin’ my life without you
Baby and you don’t know what it’s like
Lovin’ you all this time
I’ll give you all my love, heart and soul
Riskin’ it all on a chance
Now when I need you the most, you don’t know

Im Damaged

I’m damaged because I still can’t stop thinking about you.
I’m damaged because I open a conversation window hoping you’ll talk to me
I’m damaged because I told your best friend to tell you he loves you because all I want is for both of you to be happy.
I’m damaged because I’m holding on to this fantasy even though it’s over.
I’m damaged because I don’t scream at people I should scream at because it’s rude.
I’m damaged because I’m not going to tell you how I feel because I’m afraid it will stress you out even more.
I’m damaged because I’m willing to drop everything and fly to be where you are if you want me to.
I’m damaged because I still cry when I think of all the places we’ve been and things we’ve done.
I’m damaged because I want to love you.

?

I want to tell you. That the moon and sun rise in your eyes. I want to whisper tender words so soft and sweet. I want to give you the moon and the stars. I want to give you the sun to make just one more dawn. I want to give you all my love, my heart and soul, risking it all on a chance. I want to be there to catch you when you fall.

I want to give it all.

But you don’t know.

These Moments

I guess when the shit hits the fan, it’s always diarrhoea.

So I’ve had a whirlwind week. Revolving around a German, whom perhaps I got too close with.

Perhaps it was all in my mind, perhaps it was everything prior leading up to me being vulnerable, or some may suggest, desperate.

But for what it was worth, the nights (and days) spent crying, sobbing, tearing, over the transience of this. relationship. these nights, were worth the moments we got to spend together. Random ramblings, potato salad, bad breadth, lost donuts, and skimpy swimwear. A smile so sweet the world would stop each time, touch so soft, so seldom felt, but always full of meaning. And. Ayo.

Yes, as reality would dictate, it will all be over and done, and soon, the memories will have found their place in time – moments, as it were.

It’s funny though, because there seems to be more pain than there was happiness. But I can’t remember the pain. I remember the waiting, and I remember the presence, but I don’t remember the pain. I remember the funny things, the happy things, the teasing and the joking.

But for what it’s worth. The moments were precious. And that’s how they’ll always be.

In other news

Apparently I have a racist, homophobic hater who thinks I need plastic surgery!

I’ve got me a hater, wo hoo! I’m famous.

Meh.

And whom uses singnet. which adds on the loser factor.